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Train and Lifehouse are going to be touring Australia. TOGETHER!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
I'm so excited, I could just about pee my pants. Heh.
...so this type of post contradicts what I said below, but I just had to share...oh well...
Blah.
I'm having issues with the direction this site has taken. I don't know if I want to keep it anymore. I used to write because it helped clear my head, but now it just doesn't feel the same. The stuff I write about no longer reflects my intimate thoughts and feelings, it's just become a collection of...well, basically crap and fluff.
I just need to find that something again that will get me out of this funk.
Aaron Sorkin, how I love thee.
As I've said before The West Wing, created and produced by Sorkin, is one brilliant piece of TV viewing. It is the highlight of my Tuesday nights (along with Buffy, ha). I still get blown away by the performances in every epsiode by the cast, especially Martin Sheen who does a wonderful job as the President. Pity that the season is over and the third season won't air here until next year- I guess I shall have to go trolling for spoilers and reading the recaps of the new season when it premieres in the US to see what happens in advance.
The Sharks lost last night, 18-10. Damn Newcastle.
Not. Happy. Jan.
Go you Sharkies Go!
*does a dance*
I have a been a Sharks fan since I was a little girl, I think it had a lot to do with the fact I live about 10 minutes from their home ground- so it's was a given which footy team I would be supporting, heh. The Sharks had better win tonight in their NRL semi-final against Newcastle, or else I shall be mighty pissed off. I don't want to see a repeat performance of last year, when they lost their semi to St. George, grrrr. Kick off is at 7:30pm tonight I think, but I won't even be home to watch all of the game since my work friends and I are going out into the city for Rob, Sam and Cazza's birthday.
I don't really feel like working this afternoon either, the weather is much too nice to be stuck inside. I wonder if we'll be busy, or if people will be smart enough to be outdoors and enjoying the warm weather. One thing that sucks about the warmer weather is the fact that you have to make more of an effort to shave/wax more often because you really don't want to scar people for life when they see you in all your, erm...natural splendor (for lack of a better word, heh). At least in winter if you forgot, or were just too lazy, you could wear long sleeve shirts and long pants- with summer you don't have that option unless you want to over heat from wearing too many layers of clothing.
Speaking about clothing, our ball is coming up in a couple of weeks, I need to find something to wear. I haven't gotten all dressed up since my Year 12 formal, even then I didn't feel at all comfortable being all dressed up. I never wear dresses in public unless I have to, I think in the last three years I've only worn a dress twice- to both my cousins weddings. Gah, and I hate going shopping for formally type clothing too, mostly because the majority of people who work there are so pushy. They make you try on dresses you don't want to, stick their noses into the changing room when you're half nekkid trying to see 'How you're doing in there' and when you do finally come out, they say 'Oh that looks beautiful on you' when you know you look aboslutely hideous.
What were the idiots-that-be at the WB thinking when they decided to cancel Grosse Pointe? The show was an absolute cack, I can't believe it only lasted for one season. Maybe the not so subtle jibes the show had at the WB and some of their actors hit too close to home. The finale of Grosse Pointe just aired here, and now I will be going into withdrawals. We'll never know if Marcy and Dave finally get it on, if Hunter will get over herself, or if Courtney will wear non-skanky clothing. Bugger.
I went to the Martin Place ampitheatre in the city this evening to join in the ecumenical prayer service that was held in memory of the victims of terrorist attacks in America. I was truly suprised at the large number of people there, it was a really beautiful thing to see so many people taking part and paying their repsects...if only we could be this united all the time...
I know I said I wouldn't comment any further on the attacks on NY and Washington, but I really have to ask, do the US really think that Bin Laden is still in Afghanistan? I mean, if I knew that the US was mighty pissed off and wanted to blow the crap out of me, I would have hauled my ass out of that place...it seems like a fairly obvious thing to do, or I think so anyway...
Another issue that has been headline news in the past week here in Australia, is the collapse of Ansett Airlines. I really do feel for all the employees that lost their jobs when the airline folded, but what makes Ansett any different from other companies that have gone bankrupt? Granted it's an Australian icon and the second largest carrier in Australia, and I believe that the workers are entitled to compensation and their work entitlements, but I don't see that these should be taken care of by the Government. Every time another huge company collapses, the Government doesn't step in and use tax payers money to help foot their bill...Air New Zealand should be the ones to pay, they were the ones who haphazardly mismanaged Ansett after they bought them.
Bleh...I really don't know what to think anymore after listening to all the rhetoric that has been said over this last week.
Well this week has been a pleasant suprise getting the marks back from my assignments and exams- I actually kicked ass. I've gotten distinctions for everything so far, which I'm absolutely cheering about- we even got a distinction for the group assignment which we were stressing over. When we got the marks back for it, Evita didn't want to look at it so she threw it at me to see what we got, when I told her our mark she slapped me saying 'Bullshit, don't lie to me bitch!' Heh. What made it even sweeter was that we were one mark off from the top mark- I guess all the stress and tension made us work harder. I'm still waiting for a couple more marks one for the SPSS quiz and the other for my tourism exam- both of which I don't think I went very well in at all. Oh well, at least I have the other marks to boost up my average.
Thank God that our relatives and my friends are all safe and well...
My mum however, has four work colleagues who were in the north tower and are still missing...
I really don't know what to say anymore...
But I guess some things are better left unsaid...
Do not stand at our graves and weep,
We are not there,
We do not sleep...
We are a thousand winds that blow,
We are the diamond glints on snow.
We are the sunlight on rice and grain,
We are the gentle autumn's rain...
When you waken in the morning hush,
We are the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
We are the soft stars that shine at night...
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
We are not there,
We did not die. -- Anonymous May they all rest in peace...
Holy fuck, I am in complete shock over the terrorist attack in NY and DC...It's all so surreal, seeing images of one of the world's most powerful countries in a state of choas and devastation...I don't think Hollywood could have scripted anything like it. I was up last night studying for an exam when my dad came in and turned on my television. Even though I saw the footage, I still could believe it...My deepest and heartfelt sympathy goes out to the people who be affected by this horrific act...
I just hope that all the relatives and friends I have in the NY and DC areas are all ok...I can't think straight because I'm worried about their saftey...I'm just scared to think what else could happen next...
The date in the US has some a freaky coincidence... 9-11..
*breathes*
Ok, so I've calmed down a little now...not much, but enough for me not to be ready to bitch slap the next person who does even the slightest thing to piss me off. I don't know why I get so emotional over things, but I guess when you put so much effort into something you don't want to see your hard work go to waste. The report is actually not as crap as I thought it would be, not the distinction material we were hoping for, but decent enough for us to hopefully get a satisfactory mark. At least the three of us are well rehearsed in writing complete and utter bullshit that the teachers think is intelligent.
I wish I could just turn the computer off and catch up on all the sleep I haven't had in the last three days, but I still have to do all the final editing on the report and then prepare for a prac skills test I have on SPSS tomorrow. I can't wait until 8:30pm on Wednesday night when I finish the last of my assessments for this half of the session. I think I will enjoy having my life back.
I hate fucking group assignments, we are totally fucking screwed with the assignment we have due tomorrow- and this time it's not because we were lazy and didn't start it earlier- it's because one of the members in our group didn't pull her weight.
There are three of us in the group, and the assignment is analysing a data using a statistics progam then writing a report which describes the demographics and purchasing patterns of the respondents in the sample. It's not rocket science, and if you put in the effort to get to know SPSS (the statistics program) you'll understand it easily. Only problem is the third member in our group is so fucking clueless, she's no help to us at all. We divided the assignment equally between the three of us and she couldn't understand how to do her parts. So we had to effectively hold her hand and explain to her how to do all the steps, which got so fucking frustrating because it was dragging us down. Up to know, after hours of us explaining it to her, she has no fucking clue.
To make matters worse the girl STILL hasn't done all her stuff, and the fucking assignment is due tomorrow. I am so fucking pissed off at this point, Evita and I put so much work into this assignment and I don't want our effort to be wasted. The report needs the other girl's stuff for it to make sense, there's just too much work for only two people. I was talking to Evita before and she was nearly in tears. She is blaming herself for what has happened, because she's the one who kept on telling me to calm down and not say anything to the other girl in our group to get her ass into gear and start doing work.
For the last three days I have been working until 3am on the assignment because I've had to do extra parts. I'm exhausted and not in the mood to be fucked around by someone who obviously doesn't give a shit about the consequences of her actions on others. It sounds like I'm stressing over something little, but the problem is so serious, our lecturer has requested we see her about it sometime during the week.
Sometimes, life gets too overwhelming...
and sometimes, life gets too real...
And yeah, there are times in life...
those times...
when you need to get away...
for a month, a week, a day, an hour, whatever...
To just breathe...
to forget about everything...
Things haven't been going too well with me lately. I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel like I have anything left in myself to give.
I'm getting sick of doing the same things day in day out. I know I'm lucky to live the life I do, and how fortunate I am to have the things I have, but still, there's always apart of me wanting more. Wanting to have that extra little bit of 'life'.
Some things change, but some things never will. That's just the way it is. The sky is blue, but at night it is black. It was sunny this morning but now it is pretty cloudy. Many people grow up, but some of us never will.
I guess though, that a lot of this questioning of the present status of my life serves a purpose. It prepares me for what I might get as we go on with life.
If these last couple of days are any indication, well I need to do something to get myself out of this funk I'm in. I think it is really all the uni work I have to do that is making me feel like this, and it's only going to get worse. Next week I have five assessments in the span of three days- two mid term exams, two major assignments and a practical skills test. It doesn't help either that I've come down with the flu and a throat infection.
Fuck. It.
For the most part, I am bitterly disappointed with myself because I knew that I had all these things coming up and I just let it all compound. It's my fault entirely, I'm just too damn stupid to have wasted these last couple weeks doing jack all, when I could have been working on all this stuff I have due. I know I'm used to leaving things to the last minute, but it's never made me feel this deflated and sad (for lack of a better word) before.
I think I'm going to throw up.
Should I go with what my head tells me
is rational and good?
the "right way" to do things?
or should i just listen to my heart...
and just go on intuition...
and just follow where that may lead?
Because i don't know where this road
we're travelling on is going to lead...
and it's hard...
It's hard to just go blindly on faith...
and just accept whatever happens...
Anything is possible.
Nothing is written.
Nothing is inevitable.
But this is all so scary...
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